R.I.P. my love…

Τέλος.  27/11/2009.

Έφυγες σιωπηλά, χωρίς προειδοποίηση, χωρίς να είμαι εδώ. Σχεδόν μυστικά.

Ήθελα όσα έγραφα εδώ να σου τα δείξω κάποτε. Να γελούμε που όλα πέρασαν και να ξέρεις πέραν πάσης αμφιβολίας ότι σε αγάπησα όσο μπορούσα.

Και τώρα τέλος. Τέλος το εδώ. Δε θα τα δεις ποτέ.

Δεν ξέρω αν ξέρεις. Δεν έχει και σημασία πλέον. Εκεί που είσαι τώρα είναι πολύ καλύτερα. Δε μας έχεις ανάγκη κι ευτυχώς… Είμαστε πολύ λίγοι, είμαι πολύ λίγη… Το μόνο που μπορώ πλέον, η προσευχή μου. Με έμαθες να προσεύχομαι κι ελπίζω να μου μείνει η συνήθεια.

Σ’ αγαπώ. Μου λείπεις. Δε μπορώ να εκφράσω όσα νιώθω εδώ. Τα ζω καθημερινά…

Το δωμάτιο σου, η κιθάρα σου, οι εικόνες σου, τα cd, οι κασέτες, τα τσιγάρα, τα ψάρια, το κομπιούτερ σου… Όλα σε θυμίζουν… Σκέφτομαι ξανά και ξανά τις ώρες που περνούσαμε μαζί. Δε θέλω να τα ξεχάσω.

Έφυγες και πήρες ένα κομμάτι μου μαζί σου.  Σου ανήκει.  Νιώθω ότι η καρδιά μου αιμορραγεί…

Δε μπορώ να εκφραστώ σωστά, ότι και να πω είναι μπερδεμένο, σκόρπιες λέξεις, εικόνες, ότι και να πω είναι λίγο.

Θα κάνω τον πόνο προσευχή και μακάρι να σου δώσω κάτι με αυτό τον τρόπο… Μακάρι επιτέλους να προσφέρω κάτι στη διψασμένη σου ψυχή.

Σε αγαπώ. Τίποτε άλλο. Εύχομαι να πετάξεις ψηλά, αυτό που ήθελες από παιδί… Το νιώθω ότι η ταλαιπωρία σου σε έσωσε. Ότι ο Θεός σε έσωσε. Ηρέμησες πια ελπίζω…

Καλή αντάμωση αγαπημένε μου… Ελπίζω να βρεθούμε εκεί πάνω… Μόνο αυτό έχει σημασία πλέον.

Καλό Παράδεισο…

 

If you go away
On a summer day
Then you might as well
Keep the sun away
All the birds that flew
In the summer sky
And our lovers knew
And our hearts were high
And the days were young
And the nights were long
And the moon stood still
With the night birds song

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away
But if you stay
I’ll make you a day
Like no day has been
Or will be again
We’ ll sail on suns
Well ride on the rain
Well talk to the trees
Well fly with the wind

But if you go away
And I love you so
They’ll be nothing left
In the world you know
Just an empty moon
Full of empty space
Like an empty look
I see on your face

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away

But if you stay
Ill make you a day
Like no day has been
Or will be again
Well sail the suns
Well ride on the rain
Well talk to the trees
Well fly with the wind 

If you go away 

If you go away 

If you go away 

 

———-

“If  I go away what will still remain of me…”

Somewhere on that long lonely road
We all stand alone
Looking for clues
From our different views

In the dark I’ve called out your name
It echoes in vain
Over again
In an empty room

If I go away
What would still remain of me
The ghost within your eyes
The whisper in your sighs
You see
Believe
And I’m always there

Staring down a long empty hall
Pictures on walls
All with your name
But it’s not the same

Searching for the chord I can’t hear
Been searching for years
It’s somewhere inside
But it’s well disguised

If I go away
What would still remain of me
The ghost within your eyes
The whisper in your sighs
You see
Believe
And I’m always there

Someday I’ll take a chance
You find them where you can
They tend to slip away
Those doors to yesterday

Forever is a long time they say
Maybe some day
I’ll meet you there
If you’ve time to spare
Tell me then
Where I can go
Where they won’t know
Who I have been
Can we start again

And if I go away
What would still remain of me
The ghost within your eyes
The whisper in your sighs
You see
Believe
And I’m always there

———–

what makes you think that it’ll all work out in the end.
afraid to feel bad. better off to try and pretend. I’m
immortal, immune to all that is wrong. just keep on wishing.
crossing my fingers. so long. is this helping? i’m growning
weaker each day. can’t stop whining.
still afraid of what i might say or reactions, that control us one and all.

It’s mine, it’s pure and as decent as i can make myself.
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive.

Why don’t you think about that?

so now i’m bleeding on myself yes once again.
seems i trusted another deceitful freind. my fault. should’ve known the deal.
keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, for real.
seems easy, but nothing could be so hard. trying to guess lifes
dealing. what’s the next card? I’m surely folding.
i don’t like this hand at all.

Keep those eyes wide open, here comes a blind side.

maybe things happen for a reason and wherein lies the answer.
to overcome the grieving of lifes unruly lessons. i’m handed
in sucession. it builds my pain which makes me strong.

Why don’t you think about that??

———-

I have often told you stories
About the way
I lived the life of a drifter
Waiting for the day
When I’d take your hand
And sing you songs
Then maybe you would say
Come lay with me love me
And I would surely stay

But I feel I’m growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin’ ’round
I guess I’ll always be
A soldier of fortune

Many times I’ve been a traveller
I looked for something new
In days of old
When nights were cold
I wandered without you
But those days I thougt my eyes
Had seen you standing near
Though blindness is confusing
It shows that you’re not here

Now I feel I’m growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin’ ’round
I guess I’ll always be
A soldier of fortune
I can hear the sound
Of a windmill goin’ ’round
I guess I’ll always be
A soldier of fortune

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4 Responses to “R.I.P. my love…”

  1. Πραγματικά πίστευα ότι τελικά ήταν να ακυρωθεί το ταξίδι του.
    Λυπάμαι πολύ καλή μου… :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

  2. paratasizois Says:

    κι εγώ ήλπιζα…
    αλλά o Θεός είχε άλλα σχέδια
    κάτι ξέρει παραπάνω

    θενξ Μωβ μου

  3. {{{hug}}}

    😐

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